I met the toothfairy once. He (yes he) lived in downtown Miami near the old Miami Heat stadium. We met while I was parking my car super excited to see my first Billy Joel concert.
The tooth fairy was a really nice guy. We talked about how hard the times were, how health insurance was hard to come by in his industry. He was just trying to make an honest living. And honestly, teeth don't pay in - they pay out.
Perhaps hardships are why the Tooth Fairy decided to get a second job when he opened a little enterpenoural endeavor with Captain Crunch. Yup, the Tooth Fairy and Captain Crunch were business together, on the streets, in downtown ghettoville Miami. Might I say they were making a tax free killing at it too.
For 2.5 hours, and 20 dollars, the dynamic duo of vivid imaginations would park their green and white striped webbing lawn chairs right by your car parked on the street. They promised that it, and your hub caps, were still there when you got back.
The Tooth Fairy of downtown Miami may have been a man in tights, but he was a man of his word. Two and a half hours later my car, and its hubcabs, were still there. The Tooth Fairy was not. I bet that he left to give all the toothless little boys and girls of Miami their treats.
Fast forward 20 years. The Tooth Fairy who services my house is not as reliable as Captain Crunch's sidekick.
It was established early on that our Tooth Fairy does not work on Sunday nights. Why? I have no clue. The fairy just hasn't been able to produce on Sunday nights.
The first three times a Sunday night tooth loss rolled around, the tooth fairy's deliquency left for some really upset children on Monday morning. It was thought that our Tooth Fairy probably under union contract. The contract probably stipulates that there will be no fairy work on Sunday nights. At that point, the kids seem to be OK with fact that they would have to wait until Tuesday.
Then there was the episode that the Tooth Fairy was a no show on a Thursday. At that point, we seriously thought we had a looser on our hands. Perhaps it was that the fairy had a cold and just couldn't get out of the fairy house? Or could it be that the fairy had eaten too many fairy Girl Scout cookies and couldn't fit thru the fairy portal. Who knows? That time it took the fairy three days to show up. Slacker fairy.
But could the fairy seriously forget for an entire week?
It seems that it is true. The fairy kept forgetting for an entire week! What kind of fairy do we have at our house? Obviously this character is not from the same mold that took care of my car 20 years ago. Does this fairy realize that every time he forgets -- it ends up costing him 5.00 instead of the standard 1.00? Our fairy must be an idiot - we are in a recession for Pete Sake!