my house is trashed - sorry

I find myself apologizing a lot when people come over the house lately.  

Maybe it's the giant cardboard Charlie Brown house spilling open with My Little Ponies that greets you in the foyer.  Or perhaps it is the front room sewing room that is a piled mess of fabric, thread, and ribbons.  Then there is the perilous journey from the front door to the family room jumping over the Thomas the Train tracks.  

I'm sorry that you might need help moving mountains before you can sit on the sofa.  It is often littered with football cards, legos and such.  

Looking for clean clothes, dishes or such - I might say sorry there too.

It's not that the house is filthy, It is just not Better Homes and Gardens perfect.  

But what it is is life.  

A good life.

A real life. 

 A recognition that the kids won't remember how many loads of laundry that were put up but rather homemade meals around the table together.

  

They won't look back on childhood thankful that we had a pristine dining room that never housed a fancy meal but rather a room full of imagination and laughter. 

This house is real, and the door is always opened.  

It doesn't matter that the floors are polished and that the toys are picked up. 

What matters is that you know you are welcomed.  No matter the time, you are welcomed.  And we are thankful that you came.  

This is real life, this is a good life - a life meant to be shared. 

So when I say sorry I'm not.  I'm not sorry that we are enjoying life.  I'm not sorry that I choose time with my children over folding laundry.  I'm sorry, I'm not sorry. 

I really wanted to rip his throat out......

The other night my husband had the coconuts to say, "landing pad."  Just hearing those words made me unglue.  

Are you serious?  Another temporary situation?  Can we find somewhere to make memories?  Can't we have enough time to change the paint color?  A landing pad just isn't in my vocabulary.  What the heck was he thinking?  I send him to a landing pad - on his rear end.  

But there is truth in finding a "landing pad".  We need a place to land.  A place to find refuge.  Somewhere to experience safety.  Somewhere to rest.  Some time to find out what and who we really are.  

But parking on a landing pad is near impossible.  You can't stay - not for long - you have to keep moving in threat of getting run over.  A landing pad is the place to gather strength for the next take off - and you always need to be ready to go! 

Your landing pad might be in your significant other's arms.  It might be in a phone call with your dad.  Landing pads can be large and small.  There can be crashing waves and white sand in your landing pad.  Children will find laughter at your landing pad.  Life will continue to grow while resting on the landing pad.  Real friends will be found and lost when you find your landing pad.  Faith will be tested. 

In the last three years, Michael and I have had a ton of take offs and landings.  We found a landing pad in a small group of loyal faithful friends.  Landing in a new church has given us the chance to find a place of rest and refuge as we find out how much faith we really have.  Our community has stepped up to act as a family in a time when ours turned their backs.  Simple times have lead to a landing pad for our marriage to discover something new about our commitment.  

So as our family begins to take off again I'm praying that we recognize the landing pad that God has stepped ahead and prepared for us.

Hard Times and Art Therapy

It has royally stunk around here. 
Seriously smelly - Literally.  

The sewer line to the house exploded last week leaving a brown fountain in my guest bath.  I spent the evening getting very intimate with my wet dry vac.  We then spent the next five days waiting on help.  Only to be able to flush "when needed".  I spent five days without being able to do laundry ((insert reminder of 4 children)).  The dishes won the battle within the first 12 hours.

Then the tenants called.  They have been having "issues" in the house for a few months and are moving out.  Seriously, the called within 24 hours of the toilet fountain happening.  The "issues" they were having warranted a phone call 2 months ago but they just didn't seem to do that.  

I went over to see the house and all I saw was dollar signs.  It was overwhelming.  I was sad.  

Right now - this all seems impossible.  With a tight budget, a husband who travels all week and four very busy kids - there is a little voice inside my head screaming THIS seems impossible.  

But that little voice is remaining just a whisper.  Because in the midst of the most stress I have had in years, I feel stronger than I ever have.  It is like God has given me a super cape to fly through these problems.  

My cape consists of a daily quiet time.  There are a few close confidants that he has placed in my life to bounce ideas off of.  My husband has exercised a great deal of empathy when dealing with me and that is amazing.  My children even understand the need to bound together and fight thru.  

Then there is the art.  I am almost nervous about calling it that.  I always thought of artists as people who could paint or sculpt.  That is not me.  But according to Webster this is art - 

: something that is created with imagination and skill and that is beautiful or that expresses important ideas or feelings

My art has been a gift of therapy lately.  It transcends around happiness, joy, faith, and enjoying all that life has to offer - the good and the bad.  

I am incredibly grateful that God gave me the gift to do what I do.  I pray that everyone who receives one of my pieces knows that life is wonderful - if we choose. 

School's In

The little league schedule tipped my scale.
Who ever knew that u8 ball would throw this ninja mom into tears.

It started a few weeks ago.

The first day of school was announced.
The supply lists were sent.
The church schedules were set.
The dance academy registrations took place.
Consignment sales were beginning.
My husband's insane commute singed its face.
Middle school instrument fairs began.
Work.
Three open houses scheduled.
Preschool registration.
Choi Kwang Do once a week. 

Then little league.  

Little league sucked whatever there was left dry. 

I begin to cringe at what life looked like it would become.
A life of missed family meals.
A life of countless hours in the car.
A life that is beginning to blur.

My heart began to harden. 

Then I remember to be thankful. 

Thankful that my little boy is healthy and can play.
Thankful that my big girl has a dance teacher who not only trains her to dance.
Thankful that my boys have a Choi Kwang Do instructor who allows me to join the class and connect with so many wonderful children.
Thankful for our sweet little school and that my children have the opportunity to learn.
Thankful for my husband's new career.
Thankful that my big girl wants explore art. 
Thankful that God provides the opportunity to provide for my family as a Proverbs 31 woman.
Thankful that I can be present for everything.

Thankful that I am aware ahead of the schedule that it can take over our family's life and thankful that I have the full power not to let it.

Summer signals new Starts

I love summer! 
It is all fresh and new! 
Sunshine and roses! 

Summer means freedom!

Summer brings birthdays (mine and the acrtictects)! 

Summer bring fun!

Summer brings family!

Summer means writing!

Summer means creating! 

It has been a killer few months.  It has many weeks of treading water.  I am so tired of everyday stress.  It is now that I stress less and celebrate more!  Everyday is a gift and this summer will be no different!  Come join the fun! 

Our exchange program

Look around your house.  Tons of things come from China.  This computer that I am typing on - made in China.  The phone I just finished using - China.  My clothes - China (and Israel too).  Things, things are the only connection I had with China.  Well, that was until a couple of months ago.  

The beginning of the year, China moved in.  Literally moved in.  China in a 6'3" loud spikey hair boy.  He is a typical teenager -- something I had to get used too.  

But in the last many weeks I have found a place for China in my heart.  He belongs here.  There is no doubt in my mind that he does.  My children have accepted him as one of them.  The dog and cat love him.  He is a joy to have and we are blessed in more ways than one that God choose our house to place him.  

Source: powerinthename.tumblr.com via Emma on Pinterest

What I just didn't know that when we prayed and welcomed an exchange student into our house what we would really have to exchange to have him.  

For months, I have heard.
"Are you crazy?"
"Are you really willing to put your kids in danger?"
"Do you really think you need another child there?  You are already have four!"
"Is there going to be an end to this.?"
And my favorite yet, " good for you, I'm just not as international as you are."

I really don't agree with any of these comments.  God made it clear that this boy was suppose to come.  There are details that will blow your mind.  The Lord has his finger on every pulse of our little Chinese project.  I listened, and accepted - our family is different.  That just doesn't make us wrong (or in turn does it make yours). 

For one, before Michael and I even got married we knew we were to have four children.  No crazy there - it was planted very clearly.  

Secondly, we watch our children very closely - God watches them even closer.  Certainly there are precautions that you take when a teen who you don't know moves in but I would never intentionally put my (or anyone's children) in danger.  

And because I have God on my side I can do it thru him.  There will be days to cry.  Times I just want to sleep.  But there will be time for that when I am dead.  Seriously, the work to be done is now and sign me up to do it. 

The end?  When are we suppose to stop loving people?  Loving people for who they are.  When is the world going to throw perimeters out the door? 

And as far as being international.  Seriously?  I'm a first generation American.  I have a child adopted from another country?  My niece is waiting in China right now for my sister and brother in law to come get her.  And besides, what do you think heaven will look like?  

So as the weeks went by and our little Chinese project developed life became a bit lonely.  The phone doesn't ring as much, dinner dates have stopped, people have even used another door at church to avoid having to talk with our family.  

In exchange for China - our worldly lives. 

There are days where it makes me angry but then I remember - my journey is not theirs and I can not expect them to understand.

There are days when I hurt.  I hurt because I have been guilty of judging people just our family has been judged.  To know that someone has felt this way because of my actions (or in actions) breaks my heart. It hurts to know that I will probably do it again too.

There are days I morn.  Loss in any form is not an easy thing.  The past few months I have lost relationships, trust, and at times a bit of faith in the world.

There are days that I rejoice.  I see progress in his life!  I have friendships that were just that in passing become amazing relationships.  My family has been chosen for an opportunity! We are blessed.

Do I think it has been easy to have China move in- certainly not?  Would I do it again? Absolutely!

I knew I would write a blog post on an adventure that God was taking us on, I just never thought it would look like this.  I find comfort in knowing that HE did and he will provide.  But our exchange program turned out to have really nothing to do with another country - it turned out to be an exchange of things we hold close to our hearts. 

Where is your heart today?  Are you willing to let God move into it? 

Overachiever - life of a mom - epic fail for the fairy

I met the toothfairy once.  He (yes he) lived in downtown Miami near the old Miami Heat stadium.  We met while I was parking my car super excited to see my first Billy Joel concert.  

The tooth fairy was a really nice guy.  We talked about how hard the times were, how health insurance was hard to come by in his industry.  He was just trying to make an honest living.  And honestly, teeth don't pay in - they pay out.

Perhaps hardships are why the Tooth Fairy decided to get a second job when he opened a little enterpenoural endeavor with Captain Crunch.  Yup, the Tooth Fairy and Captain Crunch were business together, on the streets, in downtown ghettoville Miami.  Might I say they were making a tax free killing at it too.

Source: media.photobucket.com via Teresa on Pinterest

For 2.5 hours, and 20 dollars, the dynamic duo of vivid imaginations would park their green and white striped webbing lawn chairs right by your car parked on the street.  They promised that it, and your hub caps, were still there when you got back.  

The Tooth Fairy of downtown Miami may have been a man in tights, but he was a man of his word.  Two and a half hours later my car, and its hubcabs, were still there.  The Tooth Fairy was not.  I bet that he left to give all the toothless little boys and girls of Miami their treats.

Fast forward 20 years.  The Tooth Fairy who services my house is not as reliable as Captain Crunch's sidekick.  

It was established early on that our Tooth Fairy does not work on Sunday nights.  Why?  I have no clue.  The fairy just hasn't been able to produce on Sunday nights.  

The first three times a Sunday night tooth loss rolled around, the tooth fairy's deliquency left for some really upset children on Monday morning.  It was thought that our Tooth Fairy probably under union contract.  The contract probably stipulates that there will be no fairy work on Sunday nights.  At that point, the kids seem to be OK with fact that they would have to wait until Tuesday.  

Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com via Felan on Pinterest

Then there was the episode that the Tooth Fairy was a no show on a Thursday.  At that point, we seriously thought we had a looser on our hands.  Perhaps it was that the fairy had a cold and just couldn't get out of the fairy house?  Or could it be that the fairy had eaten too many fairy Girl Scout cookies and couldn't fit thru the fairy portal.  Who knows?  That time it took the fairy three days to show up.  Slacker fairy.

But could the fairy seriously forget for an entire week?  

It seems that it is true.  The fairy kept forgetting for an entire week!  What kind of fairy do we have at our house?  Obviously this character is not from the same mold that took care of my car 20 years ago.  Does this fairy realize that every time he forgets -- it ends up costing him 5.00 instead of the standard 1.00?  Our fairy must be an idiot - we are in a recession for Pete Sake! 
  

Overachiever - life of a mom - my Favorite Product

Love, love, love my daughter's Goodbyns!  

These little green beauties make packing a nuterious lunch easy peasy! 

They are easy to close and fit perfect in her 31 gifts lunch bag.

I ordered the set a while back when a creative blog I follow was having a 40% coupon code.  For 9.60 plus shipping, I ordered the Mix and Match set.  It came with one sandwich case, one small meal container, one snacks, and two dippers.  The set comes in  green or pink, I choose the green.  All Goodbyn products are BPA free which leaves this mama of four happy.

Every morning, I find it a breeze to pack Princess P's lunch.  I pack all natural ranch in one of the dippers with carrots sticks in the other part of the container.  Then I usually put some all natural pretzels, cereal or some other crunch on the other side (the girl likes crunch).  I find that the snack container is the perfect size for a few ounces of yogurt and some fruit.  I rarely use the sandwich container but am sure as she grows that I will.  

I find that I save a lot of money by using the Goodbyn system.  For just one child, I buy less plastic bags.  The portion controls of the system allow less food waste and it has cut down on purchases.  I am also more aware of what I am putting into my children's lunch.  I do not just grab items in the pantry to shove in a lunch box.  Not to mention that buying bigger items at the store saves money too. 

As the weather gets warmer, I look forward to taking the snack container to the park with us to enjoy some healthy breaks. I also hope to add the water bottle to Princess P's collection.

The big three are also getting Goodbyn's soon.  They are the perfect thing for this busy family.  The Goodbyn system helps us save time and money while keeping this mama aware of what she is packing for their lunches.  It is a great product and I highly recommend it! 

**Goodbyns did not compensate me for this post, but if they would too :)***

.  

Grateful Lunch

I love my dad. He has so many gifts; he is creative, people love him, he gives with no reserve, he loves, he supports, and above all he is always grateful. 

When I was a child, my dad lived in south Florida while I lived most of the time on Long Island.  

During the holidays and summer we would take these insane 24 hour straight thru driving trips between locales.  I swear that I have seen every truck stop, bathroom, and rest area up and down I-95.

One Christmas eve in particular we were somewhere in the south at a larger gas station, not quite a truck stop type place.  My dad, sister and I went into the store and got some late night snacks. We were excited to know that this was the final leg of the journey.  

On the side of the gas station, there was a skinny ghostly looking man.  He had on a black trench coat with multiple layers underneath.  Beside him was a full large black trash bag, a rolling suitcase, and a dog.  

We watched as people walked right by him -- just like he wasn't there.  Honestly, it was easy to walk right past him - we were guilty of that too. 

Guilty that is until we got back to the car.  That is when my dad handed me a 20.  I was instructed to give that 20 to that man we had just by.  I refused.  He was a scary man.  

But my dad reminded me that that man was just as much human and needy as I was.  We were not leaving the rest stop until my dad knew the man at least had the resources to buy dinner. 

There was no lesson to be learned if my dad had simply handed over the 20 himself.  It was our lesson to learn.  To wish a man, all alone, a Merry Christmas and to ask him if we could give him 20 dollars as a Christmas gift.  

In the end it wasn't about the money - it was about respect.  That man needed to be loved and we were given the opportunity to do it.  For that I am forever grateful. 

Fast forward 25 years later.  The story continues..........it is inspiring......I will share more tomorrow.

Hello Summer Memories

Hello Summer Memories.  Hello lots of time on the local playground.

Hello Living a life of love

Hello to tons of Photo Ops

Hello to Slushies the size of a small human

Hello Family ice cream trips

Hello to artificial coloring

Hello to first time roller skating and the cutest littlest skates I have ever seen

Hello to a 2 hour mass marketing seminar and High Fructose Corn Syrup

Hello to a day of fun and giving back

Well LIved

Life is........

.....meant to be well lived.

That means soaking up the sunshine on the grayest of days.

While throwing your hands in the air.......

......and screaming, just because you can.

That is life well lived.  What God intended for you.

Meet Me-Me

I meet a ME-ME today.  From across the playground, she introduced herself with squinted eyes - starring daggers at my little one and I as we entered the gate.  

As I began to play and chase Princess P - she stood dangerously close, like she was trying to hear our conversation.  It wasn't as if I was trading secrets of the DOJ with my toddler.  

There was a simple chase, calling her name, and a tickle afterwards.  But this lady would not stop following us.  I think her spandex clad, stressed out hair-do self was more concerned about my daughter and I then her grandchildren.  Although I am a natural people magnet (LOL) -- I just couldn't figure it out. 

Then it happened.  She asked, "is that really her name?".  Why yes, plastic surgery needing grandma - it is on her shirt for God's sake. 

And while she did not think I expected it, she asked the second question that everyone who always asks, "why would you name a child that?".  This was a light version of question #2.  Usually question two involves some kind of cuss word in it too. 

These questions make me laugh.  At first I want to cuss at her, Do you think I am embarrassed about my daughter's name? Do you think I care what you think about her name?  No, not really.  I named my daughter after a kind, motherly, active, smart, decisive, Godly, thankful, learning, giving, graceful, strong, patriotic, and passionate woman -- so no problems here.     

So I politely smiled, nodded yes, followed with the explanation I just gave you all.  

What was different this time was that before Me-Me could ask another condescending question,

I asked her, "What is your name?".  

She replied,  "Me-Me - spelled ME- ME."

Her smile reached the corners of her face - she was proud.  

That was until I said, "ironic - pointing to my daughter- her middle name is Grace."

And with that HIS work was done.  I held my head high - proud of my daughter's name- and went on to enjoy my day.  Me-Me on the other hand, stood for a period of time speechless, shook her head, called for her man purse carrying son and left the playground with her two grandchildren in tow.  

(((don't tell anyone but I think I won that one)))))  

Cow day at chic fil a

When you are a mom of 4 you are always looking for free fun things to do.

Even if they start off a little on the creepy side.

So you break out the fabric scraps and old shirts.  Connect them together with a hot iron and WonderUnder.

Then find a place where it is perfectly normal to look like a cow. 

Waiting for free food is part of the fun.

Because you can't put a price on hugs. 

Or creepy looking cows.

Especially the cows that are 7 feet tall.

But after awhile, even 7 foot cows grows on you.

Besides, it's all in the name of nuggets!

Thank you Chic Fil a for a fun filled day for everyone and for supporting our community!